


Worries

by TeaRoses



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-27
Updated: 2010-02-27
Packaged: 2017-10-07 14:20:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/65974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeaRoses/pseuds/TeaRoses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry worries about his friends, especially Ron who is becoming something other than a friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worries

**Author's Note:**

> (Mention of deaths that happened in canon, but no death within the fic.)

Harry was sitting up on his bed in the dormitory, pretending to read a book on the History of Magic. Ron knew he was pretending, because his eyes kept moving. He would look everywhere around the room, except at the spot where Ron sat on his bed, watching him. It was difficult being with someone who had the life Harry did, and he hated watching the tension in his body and the conflict in his eyes.

Finally he got up and sat beside him.

"Something's wrong," he said.

"How do you know?" asked Harry in a surprisingly irritated tone.

Ron immediately realized he was covering some other emotion.

"You're not really reading. And you don't seem to want to talk."

"We're together all the time. I don't have to talk to you during all of it," replied Harry. He still sounded snappish and angry, when usually with Ron he was able to relax and joke.

Ron reached to stroke Harry's hair, but pulled his hand back. Touching between them was a new thing; they were going toward something that was different from friendship but without putting a name to it. Things were too complicated for many reasons to just say, even to themselves, "I think he's my best friend but we're dating, too."

Harry saw the movement and glared.

"I don't have to touch you all the time either."

"I never said you did, Harry. I just don't like seeing you upset."

"Why do you always have to know everything?" asked Harry in exasperation.

"I need to know because it's you. Because of who you are to me. But at least I've grown up enough not to make a complete arse of myself every time I'm worried about you."

Ron stood up and Harry pulled him back down by the hand. They sat for a moment, just breathing, with Harry still not looking at him.

"It's all this Defense Against the Dark Arts stuff we've been learning," said Harry finally. "I thought nothing I learned in class could scare me anymore. The unforgivables are bad, but not a lot of people know them. That's why we're not all dead, you know? But some of these others..."

Ron craned his head into the book and Harry turned the pages. "Look at that. It's a simple severing charm, but if you're powerful enough you can use it to tear someone's arm off. And this is like obliviate, except it can make the person forget how their own body works."

Harry had fear in his voice.

"Not many people know those either, Harry. But they're just regular spells twisted around, so they're not as hard to defend yourself from as the Unforgivables."

Harry looked at him for a moment. "Sounds like you were paying  
attention in class for once."

Before Ron could give a sarcastic reply, Harry buried his face in his hands.

"Your own father almost died, and Cedric and Sirius did die, and I can't stop it..."

Ron couldn't see his face but he could hear the note of desperation.

"Don't ever blame yourself, Harry. We've been over and over this. It's because of you that the magic world is still here, and because of... of him, that those people are dead."

"I know. Dumbledore tells me the same thing, and I try to believe it. But it's not just that."

Harry was looking up now, but his shoulders were still trembling. Ron put an arm around him then. He faced the wall again and continued.

"I just keep seeing it... Neville, with his arm gone, or Hermione, not able to move, only this time forever. Or you, Ron! What if it were you?"

Ron held him then. "Calm down, Harry. It's OK, it's not going to happen."

"Maybe it's not. But everyone's lives might be in danger again, and when I try to think about it I end up worried about my friends... and about you. I get angrier over what I've lost, and the idea of losing you, than I do over what everyone might lose."

"You think you should have bigger worries? You love your friends, and you worry about them the most. You can't help that. And it's not wrong. You're not saying evil can happen as long as it happens to someone else."

Harry looked him in the eyes. "No." He gave a heavy breath. "I  
wouldn't say that."

Ron kissed him on the forehead, then on the lips.

"And if I care about you the most, that's OK too?" asked Harry.

Ron laughed. "It's OK with me. And look... you've thought I was dead more than once, and Hermione and Ginny too, and we're still here. Just watch, when the war is over we'll all have a party together."

"We don't know that. People did die!"

Ron kissed him again. "I know. And I wish I could promise you more won't. But try to believe it. Believe whatever keeps you going, Harry."

"You'll be there."

"I'll be here."

Ron held him, and they were silent.


End file.
